Her
by kanya12
Summary: Victory Tour. Party at the Presidential Palace. We all know what Katniss and Peeta did. We don't know what the rest of the team did. What if Katniss' and Peeta's victory wasn't all Seneca Crane's fault? M for a reason.


**I don't owe the characters but I just love them.**

**kanya**

Haymitch glanced at his reflection into the mirror.

He looked like another person in the suit that Portia had barely stitched on him less than an hour before. It was a night-dark smoking, its color remembering the one of that May, warm, stars-less-sky.

"So you can't soil it!" she smirked, a bright smile on her purple-sticked lips.

Haymitch couldn't really understand if hers was a kind or unkind idea, but he was grateful to her: he couldn't face that night at the Presidential palace without the help of a bottles (well, few bottles) of alcohol. And in case he would be, in the middle of the party, drunk out of his mind, no one would notice. He hoped so.

He extended his hand to touch his reflection, with his index and middle fingers right into his reflected eyes, like he would perforate them. And he would be pleased to do it, so that he could escape from tolerate that pool of disgusting hypocrites. He closed his hand into a fist and sighed loudly.

He was doing that thing for Katniss and Peeta.

He was doing that thing for the kids, he had not to forget it.

He was doing that thing for no one else. Except, maybe..

"Oh, God! Please tell me you're ready!" squeaked Effie, materialized at the very second at his door, after she had opened it furiously, with a bellicose gaze.

Haymitch, who had seen her in the mirror, rose his arms in surrender. And, turning towards her, grinned "I'm dressed, sweetheart, breathe! I just have to tie this goddamn thing and I'll be all yours"

She sighed in annoyance, moving towards him with little steps.

"Let me do this, Haymitch" she hurried, stealing the white bow tie from his hands and starting to tie it around his neck, with expert fingers.

They were so close..closer than they have been in all those years they had worked side by side.

Haymitch gulped, his throat dryed, trying desperately not to meet her eyes, so blue, so concentrated in knotting that piece of cloth. He colud feel it tightening around his pulse on his neck. He tried not to think to her sweet smell, not to care of her ivory-skin (not hidden by the dress wrapped around her slim waist). To ignore the impulse that was driving him to fill the gap between them.

"Et voilà" giggled Effie, apparently satisfied of her work "Let's go now, kids are waiting for us downstairs". She run out the room, shouting to him to hurry as she vanished from his sight.

Haymitch didn't breathe until he couldn't hear the sound of her heels on the ground anymore.

What the hell was he thinking?

He grabbed his jacket in irritation. Raised his arm to grasp his flask but, at the very last second, he stopped his hand and slid it back into his pocket. At the party there would be rivers, falls of alcohol: so why should he waste his own reserves?

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

When the Presidential Palace's gates opened wide in front of them, they were greeted by a roaring crowd.

All these people barely run towards Katniss and Peeta, congratulating them for their dresses, for their just ended Tour and, of course, for their engagement. It was the very scoop of the day, and no sound could stand above their excited cries.

Looking at all those hands that were touching them almost everywhere, Haymitch felt a surge of pity for those two, main course of that feast of fools.

"So? Daydreaming Haymitch?" Effie's crystalline voice jingled behind him. The woman reached him and stopped by his side, raising her eyes on his face.

"You're not envying them, aren't you? You had had your time in the spotlight, too. Let them enjoy what they've earned" she went on, her voice quivering in appiness.

Haymitch swallowed the words that he was going to say, that were they've earned anything and that he did not see what glory was in survive a feud, a slaughter minutely set to entertain the population and to frighten to death the underdogs. Haymitch preferred not to say anything, that night: deep in his consciousness, he knew that Effie disapproved all that shit, too. But he knew also that she were happy that, for once, the victors had been her tributes.

He nodded silently.

Effie extended her hand and squeezed his arm for few seconds, then she moved on before him through the gates.

Haymitch felt that point on his arm – where her fingers tightened- burn for a little while.

He shook his head, following her into the beast's jaws.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Absolutely! She frightened us to death! We hadn't the palest idea of what were she thinking. We were paralyzed! All of us thought she'd had ended killing him. But, you know, love is a weapon no one can defeat. She'd died herself rather than let him die, wouldn't you Katniss?"

Haymitch looked at the girl smiling wide to the new Head Gamemaker, Plutarch Heavensbee, a man Effie had begged her to be kind with.

"No way, I couldn't live without Peeta" she said.

Haymitch poured himself another glass of wine. He commiserated Katniss, forced by a unfair fate to come up on a stage she'll never come down, to live with that girl-on-a-crush mask forever. He gulped down the liquor, pleased to feel his throat catching fire at its way down his stomach. He felt lighter every time he swallowed.

When he went back looking towards them, he noticed Plutarch had taken Katniss on the dance floor and he were talking uninterruptedly in her ear, Peeta were quietly chatting with Ocatvia and Flavius, like he felt comfortable in that place.

His eyes wandered, looking for Effie.

They found her smiling slightly to a black-dressed man with grey-and-blue-speckled hair, that Haymitch couldn't identify from behind.

The man raised his hand and put it on Effie's shoulder, whispering something in her ear. Her smile cracked, she raised her gaze and nodded, putting down the glass of champagne she was holding between her fingers, letting the man's hand guide her out of the hall. He was walking behind Effie, his hands on her hips and roaming her body with a disgusting look in his eyes.

They vanished from his sight. Haymitch could hear his heart beating in his ears in anger, his guts on fire.

He stood abruptly, too faster to not have a vertigo that made him barely fall down, holding tightly in his hand the wine bottle, now almost empty.

Faltering and with his eyes blurring he found the door the two were disappeared behind. The knob almost cracked under his weight as Haymitch clung on it and the door opened wide on a long hallway. Even after he closed it behind him, the noise of the party thudded in his ears, not allowing him to hear any other voice. Haymitch rubbed his eyes, his heart beating furiously into his chest. He couldn't say if it was so fast because of the alcohol or the rage running through his veins. Along the hallway there were almost twenty doors, all locked. Cursing the hell of noise the party was making, Haymitch began to eavesdrop, moving his ear closer to the keyhole of each door.

He pressed his cheek against the wood, not able to sense nothing until he came to the thirteenth.

_"__Excellent job" the voice of that despicable creature came pretty clear to his ears "You've had not only one winner – and it'd be really a smash, considering that you have District 12 – but two victors..so good, my little girl.."_

_Effie was silent._

_"__I did know you were a waste of talent in that filthy District. A beauty like you isn't supposed to soil her gracious hands with their dirt.."_

_"__They're better than you think" Effie's voice was just a whisper but cold. _

_"__You know, I've never need to handle that kind of scum.. It was necessary a delicacy like you to make me willing to produce your two victors. I'd never asked Seneca to not let them die with those berries if it would be your drunk mentor to ask me to.."_

_"__Let him alone" Effie growled._

_"__Oh,so sweet to defend your, hm, friend.. But, you know, you're not supposed to do this, he can't hear you, you can freely say what you really think"_

_"__He's thousands times better than you.. If, if you had only passed through a hundredth part of what he had to.."_

_Her voice was interrupted by an abrupt noise, and a thud. And a moan of pain. _

_He had just slapped her. Haymitch grasped the doorknob, as he wanted to enter the room, when the man spoke again, his voice lower and crueler. _

_"__I don't think I'm here to listen to your whimpering, little slut. I think I'm here to collect what you owe me. And I want it now: the President's speech will be in an hour.."_

Haymitch barely noticed he had spread the door until he found himself facing two pairs of eyes. Effie's huge, blue, terrified ones and the man's, which were dark and angry. Her nose was bleeding quite badly and she was pinned up against the wall by his gloved hands.

"Let her go"

The man, unexpectedly, did that and Effie slid down along the wall to the floor, her hands trying to stop up the blood.

"Oh, _joy_!" the man laughed at him, not bothering to look at her "Here you are, we were talking about you right, hm, three seconds ago. Have you got a detector flashing when someone say your name or what? Oh, sorry, maybe in District 12 you don't even know what manners are, do you? Mommy didn't tell you not to eavesdrop?"

He walked towards him, anger written in every single wrinkle of his face. He was taller than Haymitch and quite large for a Capitol man.

"Oh, what an idiot, I forgot. Probably she died before she could do it. Or maybe she didn't know manners herself, who could say? What was that, by the way? A mine accident?"

Haymitch's hands were closed into fists and his knuckles were pale for the lack of circulation. How _dare _he talk about his family pretending not to know exactly how and why they had been killed? He shut his eyes closed too, trying to not jump on him. He had to think about Effie, who was trying to stand up, her legs shaking, leaning on the wall to support her weight.

"Come here, Effie. We have to go." He said, reaching out one hand towards her.

"No way, she has an outstanding balance with me. And, you know, you _really_ know it's better to everybody if she settle it" the man's voice was soaked with amusement.

"C'mon Effie" Haymitch said, pretending not to hear him.

Effie glanced at his hand, then at the man, then at Haymitch. Her eyes were scared but resolute.

"I can't..I..have to stay" she whispered, her eyes not leaving his.

"What the hell? You are coming with me" Haymitch felt his voice tremble a little.

"No I'm not" she was shaking a little, too. She sent him a sad look "Haymitch, please, get out"

"Effie.."

"Haymitch, _please.."_

The man burst out in laughter and circled her waist with his arm, turning her to face him. "I wonder if you'll beg me like this in a little while" he said, his voice so unctuous that Haymitch began to walk towards them, blind with rage.

"Haymitch, _no_! I told you to get out! Let it go!" Effie hissed.

"Yeah, _Haymitch_, let it go. Unless you want to participate.." the man said mockingly, with a malicious glance.

Haymitch moved back slowly, his eyes still fixed in hers. He noticed a lone tear sliding down her face when she blinked. He walked out. The last thing he saw was Effie, staring at him and mouthing him "Trust me" while the man's arms enveloped her in a lascivious embrace.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

He didn't look at her when they were returning to the train. The President's speech was absolutely horrible, a sort of both threat and promise of death if they dare do a false step. The doors were locked at the very second they get on the train and it started to move at high-speed back to District 12, where they had to attend the Harvest-feast the next evening.

Haymitch barely noticed Katniss and Peeta's goodnights and he walked towards his room, wanting nothing but to sink in one, ten of his bottles.

He almost reached to close the door behind him when her voice rose at his back.

"Haymitch, wait.."

He turned to face her. She was the usual Effie, wrapped in her tight dress, but her red eyes were telling him she had cried and her voice was so pleading that he wasn't able to shut the door and leave her out.

So he glanced at her, waiting for her to go on.

"May I..?" she whispered and he could swear to hear a sigh of relief when he opened the door to let her in.

He closed it and he reached out to grab the bottle of whiskey and to pour a glass, not looking at her.

She was standing up right in the centre of the room, observing every move he made, not dropping her gaze from him.

When he began to drink, she began to talk.

"Let me explain.."

"You know? For few moments I really thought your wigs have definitely screwed up your brain, sweetheart. Oh no, wait..I still think they have" his voice was hoarse and angry. She was silent.

"So.." he continued slowly "What the hell was that man? What the hell were you thinking when you told me to leave? I was trying to help you, damnit! If you didn't want to get laid by him, why the fuck you didn't come with me? Are you crazy or what?"

He was barely shouting now.

She sighed loudly, and he could hear her breaths trembling.

"Lucius Hellsfly. Does his name sound new to you?" she whispered.

Lucius Hellsfly. Haymitch tried to remember where he had heard that name before.

"Isn't he.." he started.

"..one of the most important Gamemakers? Yes, he is. And one of the cruelest. You know, the mutts of the final round were his idea" she said sadly.

"And what was your _outstanding balance _with him?" he hissed "He bet with Seneca Crane that you'd agreed to sleep with him or what?"

He knew he was exaggerating. He knew she was broken that night and that she didn't deserve to be treated like that. But he couldn't help himself.

She glanced at him with a mixture of anger and sorrow in her eyes.

"Actually" she snarled "I agreed to sleep with him because that was the only way to have two victors, the only way to don't make Katniss kill Peeta at the end, the only way to don't let the kids commit suicide. It was _his_ condition, not mine. And, yes, I agreed. Because, even if you think I'm absolutely senseless, I. Care."

"This…this is nonsense! I had an accord with Crane to make both of them win at the end.." his brain was working fast, trying to make her words have a sense.

"Yeah, I thought that, too. Before I heard Lucius making fun with other Gamemakers teasing all that people who rooted for the star-cross lovers, because, at the end, the plan was make Katniss win, only her, to sell her like they did with Finnick, Cashemere, Gloss, Arthur, Jared, Hellen…I don't think I have to continue, do I? You know, they'll earn lots of money with the Girl on Fire.. So, I made a deal with Lucius. They'd win together, but he wanted something, _someone, _'as good as Katniss'. It was pretty sick, you know, to listen to him while he spoke about how my better sexual experience would balance Katniss' lack of experience, and how much her virginity could be compensated by my charm and.." her voice broke and she started to cry "I…I couldn't refuse that, Haymitch, I simply couldn't! If I did, can you imagine the consequences? You know, you know very well what Snow could do. And Lucius is a very, very influential man… He said he could suggest the President to kill Katniss' family, Peeta's, _you_.. You are the most important people to me and..I couldn't, Haymitch, I just couldn't put your lives in jeopardy..I can't lose you.."

She was sobbing unrestrainedly, her body shaken and shivering. Her knees gave up and she collapsed to the floor, covering her eyes with her little hands. When her bracelets slid along her forearms he could see that her wrists were swollen and red. He found himself kneeled down next to her, forcing himself not to show weakness. She couldn't bear it, too. He hugged her strongly, her head hid in his chest, her hands on his shoulders. His hands wandered along her spine, wrapping her so tightly that he was shaken by her whimpering.

"I'm sorry, I really am.." she whispered with a thin voice he almost did not hear.

Haymitch held her in his strong grip, stroking her back. He would like to sink one hand into her hair, but she was still wearing her wig, and he didn't dare take it off, afraid of her reaction.

"I know, sweetheart" he couldn't just tell her 'don't be', she had done what had to be done to save those kids. But it didn't mean it was right. It wasn't. At all.

"Could you forgive me for what I had said? I..didn't mean.." he began.

"No, you meant it. And you were right. But yes, I do. I didn't want to have done that to see you mad at me..even if you'd have all the reasons to be disgusted by me" she whispered, raising one hand to stroke his blond hair.

Haymitch found himself feeling the same sensation he felt at the very beginning of the night. She was so close to him, so harmless, that all he wanted at the moment was lean in and kiss her, kiss her to make her forget, to prove her how sorry he was, how he suffered at the sight of her in the arms of that man. And he leaned in, pushed by the invisible hand of desire. But he didn't do anything. She was close, she was harmless, but she was broken.

Effie was still looking in his eyes, not daring blink to not interrupt their contact. She watched him getting closer, his eyes so deep she would like to sink into them.

"Haymitch.." she said.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Please, do it" she whispered, dropping her gaze to his lips and then raising it back into his eyes.

And he did. He closed the gap between them, kissing her so sweetly that she almost began to cry again. He lingered on her lips, enveloping them with his, sucking her bottom lip so slowly that she let out a moan. Her hands flew to the back of his neck, pulling him closer. Her tongue licked his lips to make them open, and then circled his. Haymitch almost growled when he felt her fingers begin to unravel the bow tie she entangled few hours before. She pull off, looking at her in the eyes. She didn't drop hers, going on to unbutton his shirt. When she finished she reached out one hand and put aside the shirttails, then touched his chest shyly. He gasped lightly under her touch and put his hand onto hers.

"Effie.." he began. He didn't want her to be hurt again that night. He wanted her, badly. But he just couldn't do whatever he wanted not bothering about her feelings. He wasn't Lucius Hellsfly.

"Haymitch.." she murmured on his lips "_please"._

And he definitely gave up, pulling her to him and kissing her deeply. She grabbed his hands gently and put them on her back, where the zipper of her dress was. He pulled it down, letting his fingers roam on her exposed back, following the straight line of her spine back and forth. He reached the nap of her neck and found the end of her wig. He stopped, glancing at her before going on. She nodded slightly and he took off the fake turquoise hair, while she worked quickly with her hair-pins, tossing them to the floor next to them. He couldn't help but stare at her and she couldn't help but blush lightly. He reached his hand out and take a lock of her honey curls between his thumb and index.

"This" he whispered "is the real you".

It wasn't a question, so she stayed silent, looking at his every move. He dropped it and plunged his hand into her hair, pulling her to him again. They were only kissing and he felt himself almost at the edge, yet. He stood up with her, not breaking the kiss, and pulled down her dress to her waist. She reached it and made it pool at her ankles before kicking it away. He pushed her towards his bed and when she laid down on the sheets he found himself on the top of her. Haymitch roamed his gaze along her body. She was thin, of course not like District 12's girls (who usually starved to death) but in an healthy way. He could see her ribbons, just under her small breasts. Her slender legs were open. His eyes fell onto red bruises on her collarbone, up to her neck and down between her breasts. He kissed them, feeling a surge of anger against the hideous Gamemaker who left them, and he heard her hold her breath and a moan escape from her throat. He caressed her right leg from the knee up to her thigh, gently stroking her through the material of her panties. She mewled at the contact and bucked her hips to meet his touch.

Haymitch felt himself stirring in his pants, but held the moan that had come to his lips and leaned down to kiss her again, circling her clit with his thumb and stifling her sighs with his mouth.

"Don't be noisy, sweetheart. The kids are in the room next to this" he said, with a light grin, before insert a finger into her.

She gasped, staring at him. Her eyes were wide and dark. Her cheeks red and her lips swollen.

"We are travelling at 300 miles per hour and they're sleeping" she sighed as he began to move it "They can't hear us"

"You wanted to say that they can't hear _you"_ he correct her when she groaned at his touch.

She smiled and then reached her hand out and stroked him through his pants, making him moan pretty loudly.

"_Us"_ she clarified.

He kissed her again and he pulled his finger out of her. He reached his belt and began to unfasten it. Effie's hands were playing with the elastic band of his boxers. He groaned slightly.

"How long do you want to tease me, sweetheart?" he whispered, pulling down her lingerie.

She smirked and did the same with his, kissing his neck and biting his earlobe.

Haymitch set himself between her legs. He didn't ask her if she was sure of what were going to happen next. He knew that she didn't deserve to beg anymore, and that they both were at the non-returning point.

He entered her slowly, kissing her lips when she let out a moan of pain. Probably Lucius Hellsfly wasn't known to be a gentleman. Haymitch sunk into her until the hilt, then stayed, waiting for her consent to move. She blinked few times, a wince of pain on her face. But then, she circled his waist with her legs, pulling him closer. He began to thrust into her. It was slow at the beginning, and he knew it was right because he could see her face gradually soften and her moans turn into cries of pure pleasure. Her hands were on his shoulders and she clung at him like she could fall if she didn't. Her lips were on his neck, her tongue licking gently the hollow of his throat, on his cheek and, at the end, on his own lips. She was kissing him and it was like if he was the sweetest thing in the world.

"Haymitch" she said, after a while.

"Yes?"

"You can…go faster, if you want" she whispered with a blush.

He blinked, considering what she had just said.

"I don't want to hurt you..anymore" he murmured. She couldn't help but see his eyes full of desire, so dark to seem black at the very first sight. She nodded but circled his waist with her legs again.

"I know, but you could never hurt me unless you'd stand up and go away this instant. You could never, ever, hurt me this way" she kissed him "and I don't think I could resist anymore, I want to feel you completely".

He laughed shortly, returning the kiss.

"Pleased to please you, then" he told her, beginning to thrust harder and faster into her.

She shut her eyes closed, hugging him with her nails into his flesh, her breasts pressed against his chest in a way they couldn't say where her body ended and where his began. His name fell from her lips so many times and in such a way that he knew he barely could hold himself further more. He slid one hand between their bodies and reached her centre, starting to rubbing it slowly then roughly. He felt her body tense around his and she cried out, her eyes shut, her hands on his back pulling him against her. He kissed her deeply, waiting for her riding her pleasure. He thrust into her one more time before he came at his edge, growling and letting out a chocked groan.

Effie hold him until he stopped shaking, and then they were panting hard, their breaths loud and deep, their foreheads pressed together. He rose up and stared at her, stroking her damp hair.

She returned the glance and pressed a kiss on his forehead.

"Thank you, Haymitch" she whispered, looking into his back-gray eyes.

"Why are you thanking me, Effie?" he asked.

She smiled slightly.

"You made me feel loved. For the very first time."


End file.
